Navigating Grief: From Survival to Healing

Grief is an inevitable part of life, touching each of us in different ways.

For much of my life, I lived in survival mode, reacting to loss and uncertainty with the instinct to fix and control.

I was on autopilot, trying to shield myself from the discomfort of uncertainty.

This pattern was generational, rooted deeply in my family's history, and it became my default response to grief and pain.

Today, on my mother’s birthday, the first since she passed, I find myself in a different place. It’s a place of acceptance, free from the overwhelming triggers that once consumed me. This peace has come from healing, a process that has transformed how I view loss.

The Weight of Generational Patterns

For years, I lived in fear of loss, shaped by my father’s death when I was six. I was sitting on his lap when he passed,a traumatic moment that deeply imprinted on my young mind. I carried this grief for decades, dwelling on anniversaries and special dates as if clinging to them could somehow honour his memory or alleviate the pain.

When my son’s friend passed unexpectedly during reception, those old patterns resurfaced. I spiraled, focusing on what was lost, and turned grief into an obligation to remember every detail. Yet, looking back, I see how much harm this caused, not just to myself but to those around me.

Grief became a weight, pulling me deeper into sadness instead of allowing me to process and release it.

Discovering the Root Cause

Through my healing journey, I found the practice of Root Cause Therapy, which reshaped how I view grief. Initially, I had no plans to study this modality, but when I discovered I had mind blindness (aphantasia), I felt guided to understand why my mind worked the way it did.

When we think of root causes, we often assume we know the origin of our pain. But our conscious mind only tells part of the story; the subconscious mind holds the deeper truths.

Root Cause Therapy revealed patterns I wasn’t aware of, allowing me to heal and release the grip of grief that had defined so much of my life.

The Interconnection of Mind, Body, and Spirit

Psalm 139:13 says,

“I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well” (ICB).

This verse reminds us of the intricate design of our being, how our mind, body, and spirit are interconnected. Grief doesn’t just live in our thoughts; it manifests physically, emotionally, and energetically.

When I became more present and learned to reconnect with my body, I noticed how grief felt: the heaviness, fatigue, and lack of motivation.

These sensations were my body’s way of signaling that it needed help.

I find peace instead of dwelling on “what could have been.” This newfound freedom has transformed my understanding of the life cycle, allowing me to view death not with fear but with acceptance.

Tools for Processing Grief

Grief and loss are unavoidable, but how we process them can make all the difference. Here are tools that have been instrumental in my healing journey:

1. Scripture
   The Bible offers comfort in times of sorrow. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed” (Psalm 34:18 NLT). Knowing we are not alone can provide solace.

2. Gratitude
   In the depths of grief, it’s easy to become short-sighted. Practicing gratitude, making a list of things to be thankful for each night, can shift your perspective and bring hope.

3. Journaling
   Writing down your emotions provides a safe space to explore and release them. Journaling reminds us that it’s okay to feel messy and raw,it’s part of the healing process.

4. Embodied Processing
   This trauma-informed somatic practice has been integral to my healing. By building self-compassion and exploring all emotions, even the messy ones, we allow them to naturally discharge and free us from their hold.

5. Root Cause Therapy
   Identifying and releasing limiting beliefs tied to grief—such as fears of never recovering—can pave the way for healthier grieving and greater self-awareness.

6. Breathwork
   Grief often resides in the chest, affecting our breathing. Shallow breaths can take a toll physically and emotionally. Breathwork helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the mind and body.

7. Restorative Yoga
   Gentle yoga practices can support emotional release, helping to ease tension and reconnect with the body.

8. Frequency Therapy
   Providing microcurrents to the body can balance inner frequencies, supporting emotional and physical well-being on a cellular level.

Embracing Healing

Grief no longer has to be a shadow that follows us through life. By learning to process loss in a healthy way, we can find freedom and acceptance. For years, I feared death, but today, I embrace the life cycle with peace and gratitude.

If you are navigating grief, know that you are not alone. Healing is possible, and there are tools and practices that can support you on your journey.

Grief may be inevitable, but growth and transformation are, too.

Let’s honour our loved ones by living fully, embracing the lessons they’ve left behind, and finding freedom in acceptance.

To deepen your understanding of healing through self-awareness, I recommend reading our blog post, "Awakening to Childhood Trauma: A Journey of Healing and Self-Discovery".

For a more personalised approach, consider our Uncover & Heal Package, designed to uncover and release limiting beliefs and past traumas. This package empowers you to address the subconscious patterns holding you back and supports long-lasting healing.