"Shifting My View of the Cross: Embracing Christ’s Love as a Gift, Not a Standard"

I’ve been reflecting deeply on my journey of faith, and one of the biggest hurdles I’ve faced has been overcoming the sense of inadequacy that so often creeps in. As a Christian, I found myself caught in a cycle of striving—trying to live up to an ideal that always seemed just out of reach. I was constantly aware of my shortcomings, and this weighed heavily on me. I felt as though I wasn’t doing enough, wasn’t being enough.

Over time, through inner healing and my experience with somatic therapy, I began to realise something powerful. To truly embody Christ’s example, we need to surrender. This idea of surrendering—of letting go—was hard for me at first because it felt like giving up. But in reality, it was the most liberating thing I could have done.

It made me think about how often we, as Christians, meet together and talk about “the sacrifice of the risen Lord.” This phrase, while deeply reverent, often carries with it an unintended message. It can leave us focused on the notion that we must measure up to this sacrifice, as if our role is to somehow prove that we are worthy of the gift that’s already been freely given. I started to see that the very language we use, especially around the cross, can unintentionally shift our perspective away from what truly matters.

We often say we can't earn salvation — it’s a gift of grace, but at the same time, we spend so much of our lives trying to hide our flaws, talking about our failures, and feeling inadequate. This is especially true for those of us carrying trauma, addiction, or deep-seated wounds. The very act of striving or hiding—whether it’s shame, guilt, or feelings of unworthiness—can keep us trapped in cycles of pain. When we hide, we are often avoiding the vulnerability and surrender that true healing requires.

Healing, both spiritually and emotionally, can only begin when we stop hiding and simply let go. The paradox is that in our effort to fix ourselves or prove ourselves worthy, we deny the very essence of the cross. Scripture echoes this so beautifully:

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up” (James 4:10, NIV).

Humility, acceptance, and surrender are key to transformation. If we remain in vain effort, striving to achieve worthiness, or hiding our guilt and shame, we deny the cross and its profound gift of grace.

We often strive to overcome our weaknesses on our own, but scripture reminds us that true transformation happens when we let go. We cannot earn our healing any more than we can earn our salvation.

It is through accepting and surrendering, acknowledging our brokenness, that we allow the grace of God to work within us.

This can lead to a perspective where the cross is seen as a distant ideal rather than an intimate reality of love and transformation.

Instead of viewing Christ's work as merely a sacrifice to be endured or a standard to be constantly aspired to, we might reframe it as a generous gift that reveals the depth of divine love and acceptance. This reframing can shift our focus from striving to earn worthiness to embracing the transformative power of what has already been given.

When we understand Christ's actions as an embodiment of unconditional love rather than a demand for perfection, we move from a place of striving to one of gratitude. This shift fosters a sense of acceptance and joy rather than guilt and inadequacy. It is in this space of surrender and appreciation that we truly draw near to Christ, finding the energy and light to overcome darkness and despair.

For me, this shift—moving from a mindset of striving to one of receiving—has been the most freeing and transformative part of my faith journey.

It's no longer about whether I can live up to some unreachable standard; it’s about responding to the incredible gift of love that has already been given. When we truly grasp this, everything changes.

Instead of trying to be worthy, I’ve learned to rest in the knowledge that Christ’s love is enough. By changing the way we talk about faith—using words like love, gift, and example instead of sacrifice — we can foster a deeper connection to the truth of what Christ’s life, death, and resurrection really mean. It’s about embracing His love in the purest form, letting go of the need to prove ourselves, and simply living in the grace that’s already ours.

“He saved us because of his mercy, not because of good deeds we did to be right with God. He saved us through the washing that made us new people. He saved us by making us new through the Holy Spirit . Titus 3:5 ICB

this is the power of the cross.