Unlocking the Power of SELF COMPASSION IN CHRIST

 The term "self-compassion" is widely used in various psychological modalities, yet it often carries a different connotation in Christian circles. Many believers see the focus on the "self" as potentially leading one away from God and towards sin. But what if I told you that self-compassion is not only crucial to our personal growth, but it also opens the door to a deeper, more authentic relationship with Christ?

As Christians, we often struggle—with life, with the weight of human experiences, and with the high expectations we place on ourselves and those others place on us. In today's digital age, where we are constantly bombarded with images of how different we are, our flaws and weaknesses are magnified. The burden of feeling unworthy can become overwhelming, leading us to either give in, disassociate, or become unrecognisable even to ourselves.

For many years in my Christian journey, I was taught to focus on the "fear and judgment" of God. The emphasis was often on what we should be, and how we should act, with little attention paid to the victories of grace. Despite being told that salvation is a gift, the constant message to examine every wrong we commit implied that we still had to strive to earn it. This approach can leave many feeling trapped in self-loathing, believing they are unworthy of God's love—a mindset that can lead to destructive behavior and a sense of hopelessness.

Yet, the Bible speaks of compassion, loving-kindness, and mercy—concepts mentioned 95 times. Jesus says,

“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous ! I have conquered the world.” John 16:33

As Christians, we are not immune to suffering, but we are called to be courageous. However, how can we be courageous and hold on to hope when the very communities and religious institutions that are supposed to support us instead burden us with rules that make us feel ashamed of our weaknesses?

Shame is one of the lowest energies we can experience. If we do not equip ourselves to be kinder to ourselves, to forgive ourselves, and to accept ourselves as Christ does, we will remain stuck in that state. The Bible reminds us repeatedly that we cannot do it without Him. So why do we continue to try and earn what He has already given us through His sacrifice?

In Mark 12:31, we are instructed to "love thy neighbour as thyself," which clearly implies that we are to love ourselves. But how can we love ourselves if we are weighed down by shame? Proverbs 4:23 tells us to "above all guard our hearts," which suggests that we must take care of ourselves, as our emotions are deeply seated there.

To move from shame to hope and freedom, we must do the hard work of healing. Self-compassion is not a new trend; it is essential for running the race set before us. When we can hold space for ourselves, recognise our weaknesses, sit with the uncomfortable, and build resilience, we naturally extend that love to others. We are better able to appreciate the gift of grace and embrace it fully. When we are in a state of shame, we feel undeserving of any gift, let alone the greatest gift of all—God's love.

If we truly want to be in Christ, we must develop the capacity to sit with ourselves as He has done. This is not about indulging in self-centeredness; it’s about acknowledging our humanity and allowing Christ’s love to transform us from the inside out.

I'll leave you with this powerful passage, which beautifully sums up the message of self-compassion in Christ:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” —Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)

Let us learn to live freely and lightly, embracing the unforced rhythms of grace, and discovering the true peace that comes from walking with Christ in self-compassion.