"Letting Go: Finding Freedom in Healing and Trust"

Relationships are a fascinating part of our lives, starting from childhood. As we grow, we evolve, and sometimes, we simply outgrow people. Other times, relationships become so problematic that walking away seems to be the only way forward. Whether it's with friends, family, or romantic partners, holding on can sometimes cause more harm than good.

In relationships of the heart, we may stay out of fear of being alone, low self-esteem, or even just to prove our worth. But holding on when it's time to let go can bring heartache, chaos, and a host of deeper consequences. We might lose trust in ourselves or approach future relationships with unresolved baggage, making choices based on fear rather than love.

Family relationships, though, are the hardest to navigate. Why do we cling so tightly to people who may cause us pain? Is it cultural, societal pressure, or the idealised notion of family? We tell ourselves it's love, but is it really? Do we hold on because we don’t know any better or because we're too afraid to let go?

For me, the need to create a family bond led me to homeschool my children, desperately trying to give them something I never had—a sense of connection. My childhood trauma blurred my understanding of family, and for years, I lived in survival mode. The mistakes I made, the emotional disconnection—they all stemmed from a deeply fragmented past.

In my healing journey,

I realised that my survival strategies, my tough exterior and "you won’t break me" attitude, became my identity.

Every relationship I’ve had has required an extraordinary amount of effort just to keep afloat. Even now, I sometimes find myself suppressing my own needs to maintain connections. My core limiting belief is that "I am alone," and that belief has shaped so much of my life.

Now, at 50, I’ve reached a point of reckoning. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life striving for an ideal that doesn't exist. Love isn’t about proving anything; it’s about connection, vulnerability, and being there for one another. It doesn’t have to be an uphill battle. I’m fortunate that my marriage has grown into a deep friendship, where love can conquer miscommunication. But with my children, I realise I may have overcompensated for my own childhood pain, giving them a life of protection, yet missing the emotional connection I deeply craved.

I share this because true understanding comes when we put ourselves in others' shoes. No one is perfect, and I certainly am not. But I have hope because I am healing daily, just as my clients are. Letting go of guilt, shame, and past pain is freeing. Vulnerability, though scary, is also liberating. And while holding onto these things would have suffocated me, trusting in God has given me the freedom to breathe again.

Letting go isn’t just an act of release, it's an act of trust, of faith, and of love. And with that, I am finally finding peace.