You are Loved, not just “Enough”
You Are Loved, Not Just "Enough"
How often do we, as parents, say to our children, "You're enough"? Yet, do we truly allow them to be enough, or are we really saying, "I love you no matter what"? I've used this phrase many times, but looking back,
“I realise that my daughter’s overthinking and struggles with self-worth may have unintentionally stemmed from my own actions and attitudes, without me realising the weight those words hold.”
As someone who experienced a difficult childhood filled with trauma and adversity, I entered parenthood with something to prove rather than simply allowing myself to be. I felt the need to do everything "right," to be the perfect parent, rather than simply being present and embracing the journey.
I believe in transparency, vulnerability, and admitting our wrongs, not just for the sake of others but for ourselves.
Healing begins when we acknowledge our mistakes and allow space for growth.
Parenting in a Time of Overwhelm
Parenting today is more challenging than ever. Social media is flooded with reels and stories of childhood trauma, how past wounds impact adulthood, and the lifelong consequences of upbringing. While these conversations are crucial, they can also feel overwhelming, making some hesitant or fearful about becoming parents. The weight of potential failure, the fear of falling short, it’s enough to make anyone question whether they’re up for the task.
I was naive. I desperately wanted to be a parent, but why? Was it because I truly desired to nurture and guide a child, or was it because society, especially within my Christian upbringing, told me that motherhood was my purpose?
For many Christian women, this expectation can be crushing. If we follow life’s stages, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, marriage, motherhood, and eventually grandparenthood, what happens to those who don’t fit that mold?
Do they still feel whole? Do they still feel "enough"?
The Expectation of "Enough"
Life is messy, complicated, and full of distractions. The noise from within and around us can send us in circles, making us feel like we’re constantly falling short. But if I were to say to you, "You are enough," what would that mean to you? What part of your life feels inadequate? Does your mind replay narratives that reinforce these doubts, convincing you of beliefs that aren’t quite true?
Close your eyes for a moment. Say to yourself, "You are enough." What sensations arise in your body? Do you feel tension? Resistance? A tightness in your chest or throat?
I’ve come to realise that I don’t like the phrase "You are enough."
It carries an expectation, an expectation to feel good, to be content, to believe that we are complete in ourselves. But the truth is, we are not. We are flawed, imperfect, human.
And that is okay. We were never meant to be "enough" on our own. We were meant to be loved.
Letting Go of the Struggle
So why do we keep striving? Why do we resist surrendering, steering the boat of our lives with white, knuckled determination, instead of letting go? Why do we struggle to accept our weaknesses, our shadows, our imperfections?
We are not meant to do this alone. Our reliance on Christ is not a weakness; it is our greatest strength.
"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
When we stop striving to be enough and instead embrace our need for Him, we find peace.
We don’t need to be perfect. We need to be loved.
Next time you look in the mirror, take a deep breath. Instead of saying, "I am enough," say, "I am loved."
Because love is not reserved for those who meet a certain standard. Love is for the broken, the weary, the ones still searching, the ones who don’t have it all figured out. Love is for you, exactly as you are.
"We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19).
When we grasp this, we no longer love others because they are "good enough." We love them because they, like us, are human—needing, yearning, and worthy of grace.
A New Perspective on Parenting
Let’s tune out the outside chatter. The social media comparisons, the parenting groups, the endless advice. Let’s parent from within, guided by grace rather than expectations. Let’s give ourselves permission to be imperfect, to learn, to grow, to stumble and get back up.
There is no getting it perfectly right. There is only the journey. We cannot clear the path ahead, no matter how much we try. Life is given and can be taken. The only thing we can do is be present, be open, be vulnerable, and know that we are loved.
“The Father has loved us so much! He loved us so much that we are called children of God.”(1 John 3:1 ICB).
Rethink what it means to be "enough." Remember, you are loved. And if you need a community to support you on this journey, join our Gather and Grow Collective.
